December 13th, 2002. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I remember awaking, falling to my knees, and sobbing because I had gotten word that my high school cross country coach and role model had been killed with his wife in a car crash. It had all seemed like a bad dream that someone that genuinely cared about each interaction he had with every person he knew, had just disappeared in an instant. One of the most positive people Ive ever known, I decided from then on, to use Coach Cook's life to influence my actions in the future.
December 20th, 2005. The bad dream reoccurred. My teammate and friend, Ryan Jobes, had also been killed in a car accident. A friend to all, always complete with a smile on his face, losing Ryan was another blow to my life.
I found myself questioning "Why?" quite often, but realized that if I couldn't have those people with me, I had to use their lives in my own. For as they had impacted my own life, I needed to do the same for others.
So as I awoke today, December, 13th, 2009, I did as I do any other December 13th: I remembered. I thought back on how far I have come since that fateful day in 2002. High school state cross country team runners up, University of Richmond XC and Track on scholarship, a Biology degree, an Assistant Track and XC Coach at UNC Charlotte, and now I find myself in Colorado. But is that good enough? Is that what I want?
And so I ask myself, "What am I living for?". The message at the Merge church service tonight really struck a chord with my heart. For months now, I have been telling myself that I need to get involved in the community around here through service acts and for months now, I have not done a thing about it. And as I heard tonight from speaker Scott Nickell: Time and Money validate what you really care about. Now that can sound harsh, but I believe that is the truth.
This Christmas, I decided, for the first time, that I was going to send out Christmas cards and gifts to all of those people that I care about. Now, I am out here in Colorado barely making minimum wage, but am about to hand out 20+ Christmas gifts to those I care about. Why would you do that, some people have asked me, you need to take care of yourself first. And to those that question, I say, I am taking care of myself. I have all I need: food, shelter, friends, and family. I have always loved to give rather than receive, and I by making others happy and feel appreciated at this Christmas season is my goal. For that, I will smile and enjoy this holiday season.
So looking ahead to this new year and all of the questions that have been running through my head, I am content to say that I am slowly answering "What am I living for?". For that, I can see Coach Cook and Ryan smiling down on me.
"Go out into the world and do great. But more importantly, go out into the world and do good."
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