"Running, one might say, is basically an absurd past-time upon which to be exhausting ourselves. But if you can find meaning, in the kind of running you have to do to stay on this team, chances are you will be able to find meaning in another absurd past-time: Life."
Correr. To run.
So simple, yet so complex.
Flashback to when I was 10 years old. I remember my first 5k was The Great Race in Pittsburgh, PA. I remember that feeling of passing people and coming in first in my age group. From then on, I was hooked. From a young age, my dad never pressured me to run, but rather I pushed myself because I had discovered that with hard work and dedication, I could be great at something. Little did I know, running could bring me so much more than feelings of accomplishment and satisfaction and little did I know how big of a part of my life it would become.
As I aged through the years, running became my passion. It is my outlet when times are tough or the stress of life is getting to me. It is my social scene, as some of my best, most loyal friends are runners. It is my motivation to be the best I could be. And it brings me happiness-I can truly say that the happiest moments of my life have involved running.
Wherever I have gone, running has always been my constant-something I can do anytime, anywhere.
Since that race at age 10, I have been dedicated and competitive to be the best runner I can be. Yes, there have been a few setbacks with an injury here or a mental lapse there, but for the most part, my running has stayed competitive and fun. Even last year, my first year out of college, I was worried that I would have trouble adjusting to post collegiate running. But in Charlotte, the running groups and support from the community was amazing. I stayed in shape and even ran faster in a 5k this last July 4th road race than I had ever done in the past. Moving to Boulder, I was pumped and ready to train. I mean, Colorado is the runner's dream, right? Trails everywhere, runners everywhere. What more could you ask for?
And then it was gone.
As I began to live life in Boulder, it was as though I had been slapped in the face. Yes, there was the beauty and the trails, but where were all the training partners? I think I visited 4-5 different running stores to find groups like the ones I had been familiar with in the past. But it was to no avail. I found a few great training partners in Denver, but really, it is at least a 45 min drive one way every time I want to go on a run with them. In Boulder, it is almost as though people are privately coached or run recreationally-there is no middle ground. As the weeks went on, I began to notice myself straying from running and the dedication that I once had. I would run a few times a week, avoiding workouts like the plague. I would make up excuses, which I had never done in the past. I didnt race, for I didnt want to embarrass myself. I even decided to take off a full two weeks before I came home for Christmas. I had lost it, lost the passion that I once had, all because I didnt have the support and the training partners that I was used to.
And then it returned. Today of all days. On Christmas Day, I decided to head out on a run with my dad, the one person that had gotten me started in running. In 15 mph winds, rain, and freezing temps, I ran through the country hills of Chambersburg. I wont lie, the conditions were miserable for running and I felt horribly out of shape. But for some reason, I loved it. While running, it dawned on me, I missed running terribly. Most people would think we were insane, but conditions like today are ones that we, as runners, live for. When finished, we feel a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. It broke my heart to think that over the past month or two I had lost the passion for something that made me, to a large extent, who I am today.
Maybe the break is what I needed. For sometimes, you dont realize what you have or what joy something brings to you until it's gone. But today brought about a change in me. Running is back in my life and 2010 is going to be a year of PRs, no matter what I have to do. I will drive to Denver to run with training partners when I can, will make sacrifices, and will start racing again. Most importantly, I will not give up on this journey. For I need running and running needs me.
And I have miles to go before I sleep, miles to go before I sleep...
"Running is finally seeing everything in perspective. Running is discovering the wholeness, the unity that everyone seeks."
Friday, December 25, 2009
Sunday, December 13, 2009
What are we living for?
December 13th, 2002. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I remember awaking, falling to my knees, and sobbing because I had gotten word that my high school cross country coach and role model had been killed with his wife in a car crash. It had all seemed like a bad dream that someone that genuinely cared about each interaction he had with every person he knew, had just disappeared in an instant. One of the most positive people Ive ever known, I decided from then on, to use Coach Cook's life to influence my actions in the future.
December 20th, 2005. The bad dream reoccurred. My teammate and friend, Ryan Jobes, had also been killed in a car accident. A friend to all, always complete with a smile on his face, losing Ryan was another blow to my life.
I found myself questioning "Why?" quite often, but realized that if I couldn't have those people with me, I had to use their lives in my own. For as they had impacted my own life, I needed to do the same for others.
So as I awoke today, December, 13th, 2009, I did as I do any other December 13th: I remembered. I thought back on how far I have come since that fateful day in 2002. High school state cross country team runners up, University of Richmond XC and Track on scholarship, a Biology degree, an Assistant Track and XC Coach at UNC Charlotte, and now I find myself in Colorado. But is that good enough? Is that what I want?
And so I ask myself, "What am I living for?". The message at the Merge church service tonight really struck a chord with my heart. For months now, I have been telling myself that I need to get involved in the community around here through service acts and for months now, I have not done a thing about it. And as I heard tonight from speaker Scott Nickell: Time and Money validate what you really care about. Now that can sound harsh, but I believe that is the truth.
This Christmas, I decided, for the first time, that I was going to send out Christmas cards and gifts to all of those people that I care about. Now, I am out here in Colorado barely making minimum wage, but am about to hand out 20+ Christmas gifts to those I care about. Why would you do that, some people have asked me, you need to take care of yourself first. And to those that question, I say, I am taking care of myself. I have all I need: food, shelter, friends, and family. I have always loved to give rather than receive, and I by making others happy and feel appreciated at this Christmas season is my goal. For that, I will smile and enjoy this holiday season.
So looking ahead to this new year and all of the questions that have been running through my head, I am content to say that I am slowly answering "What am I living for?". For that, I can see Coach Cook and Ryan smiling down on me.
"Go out into the world and do great. But more importantly, go out into the world and do good."
December 20th, 2005. The bad dream reoccurred. My teammate and friend, Ryan Jobes, had also been killed in a car accident. A friend to all, always complete with a smile on his face, losing Ryan was another blow to my life.
I found myself questioning "Why?" quite often, but realized that if I couldn't have those people with me, I had to use their lives in my own. For as they had impacted my own life, I needed to do the same for others.
So as I awoke today, December, 13th, 2009, I did as I do any other December 13th: I remembered. I thought back on how far I have come since that fateful day in 2002. High school state cross country team runners up, University of Richmond XC and Track on scholarship, a Biology degree, an Assistant Track and XC Coach at UNC Charlotte, and now I find myself in Colorado. But is that good enough? Is that what I want?
And so I ask myself, "What am I living for?". The message at the Merge church service tonight really struck a chord with my heart. For months now, I have been telling myself that I need to get involved in the community around here through service acts and for months now, I have not done a thing about it. And as I heard tonight from speaker Scott Nickell: Time and Money validate what you really care about. Now that can sound harsh, but I believe that is the truth.
This Christmas, I decided, for the first time, that I was going to send out Christmas cards and gifts to all of those people that I care about. Now, I am out here in Colorado barely making minimum wage, but am about to hand out 20+ Christmas gifts to those I care about. Why would you do that, some people have asked me, you need to take care of yourself first. And to those that question, I say, I am taking care of myself. I have all I need: food, shelter, friends, and family. I have always loved to give rather than receive, and I by making others happy and feel appreciated at this Christmas season is my goal. For that, I will smile and enjoy this holiday season.
So looking ahead to this new year and all of the questions that have been running through my head, I am content to say that I am slowly answering "What am I living for?". For that, I can see Coach Cook and Ryan smiling down on me.
"Go out into the world and do great. But more importantly, go out into the world and do good."
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Happiness
I am horribly indecisive.
It is a characteristic I have had ever since I can remember. Which college to go to was decided literally with a list of pros and cons.
Recently, I have teetered back and forth with questions: To move from Colorado to Charlotte? From Boulder to Denver? To stay at my job or to leave? To go to CU for grad school or to another nearby school? etc. etc. etc.
Sometimes I get frustrated with myself because I will make a decision to do something and then a few weeks later decide against it. In the end, I feel like much of my indecisiveness rests on my happiness. I am the type of person that relies on my social and mental well being to determine what I want to do or where I want to do. Ultimately, while frustrating, I think this is my way of figuring out who I am and what I want to be. For I have seen too many people make rash decisions that lead them down a path that they really didnt want to be.
Since moving to Colorado I have done a lot of self discovery. I decided that Colorado really is the place I want to be. But I have recently asked myself questions such as: Do I really want to be in Boulder? Who is most important to me in my life? Is money really all that important? What do I want to accomplish in my life?
Boulder is a unique place. That is really all I need to say about it-you must experience it to understand. Sometimes I feel like I fit in here and others I dont. About a month ago I was dead set on moving to Denver in January. Denver is a great city, very diverse and full of culture. I was excited and ready to make the move.
And then something happened. One of my co-workers, Bonnie, introduced me to her friends from the CU music department, Dizney and John. They were nice guys and I didnt really think anything of it until they made an effort to try and get me to hang out with them. I am not really used to an effort being made by others and often feel as though I am making too much of it myself. Needless to say, it was a pleasant surprise.
So just last week I asked now asked myself: Do I really want to leave Boulder? The answer was simply: No. I do have friends in Denver and friends in Boulder, but for now I have decided to give myself some more time in this town to discover it more. The option will always be there to move to Denver, but will my co-worker Bonnie or any other friends I have made? So as of January 1st, 2010, I will be leaving my current townhome in East Boulder to move to downtown Boulder and will be keeping my job as manager of good old Powell's Sweet Shoppe!
I have had my ups and downs in Colorado that's for sure. But over the past month, life has been changing. There are more positive, happy days, rather than homesick, lonely ones. I am in love with the Rocky Mountains. That's a given-who wouldnt be? I have a wonderful group of runners in Denver that I wish I could see and run with more often, but know that will come with time. I have a great church group, Merge, that is filled with young adults, that have lifted me up, as well as challenged me. I have a wonderful Michigan, skiing and running comrade, Jaime, who is by far my best friend here. I have a great boss, co-workers, and flexible job that may not be the most fulfilling one, but is a positive place with good times had by all.
It has been one heck of a journey, but when you reach that happy place, it is one of the best feelings in the world. I want to thank all of those that have helped me thus far along the way; presently in Colorado or not. Finally, I feel like Im almost home.
There is a song from The Fray that I listen to quite often that pretty much sums up my discovery of happiness here in Colorado:
"Happiness is like the old man told me
Look for it, but you'll never find it all
But let it go, live your life and leave it
Then one day, wake up and she'll be home
Home, home, home..."
It is a characteristic I have had ever since I can remember. Which college to go to was decided literally with a list of pros and cons.
Recently, I have teetered back and forth with questions: To move from Colorado to Charlotte? From Boulder to Denver? To stay at my job or to leave? To go to CU for grad school or to another nearby school? etc. etc. etc.
Sometimes I get frustrated with myself because I will make a decision to do something and then a few weeks later decide against it. In the end, I feel like much of my indecisiveness rests on my happiness. I am the type of person that relies on my social and mental well being to determine what I want to do or where I want to do. Ultimately, while frustrating, I think this is my way of figuring out who I am and what I want to be. For I have seen too many people make rash decisions that lead them down a path that they really didnt want to be.
Since moving to Colorado I have done a lot of self discovery. I decided that Colorado really is the place I want to be. But I have recently asked myself questions such as: Do I really want to be in Boulder? Who is most important to me in my life? Is money really all that important? What do I want to accomplish in my life?
Boulder is a unique place. That is really all I need to say about it-you must experience it to understand. Sometimes I feel like I fit in here and others I dont. About a month ago I was dead set on moving to Denver in January. Denver is a great city, very diverse and full of culture. I was excited and ready to make the move.
And then something happened. One of my co-workers, Bonnie, introduced me to her friends from the CU music department, Dizney and John. They were nice guys and I didnt really think anything of it until they made an effort to try and get me to hang out with them. I am not really used to an effort being made by others and often feel as though I am making too much of it myself. Needless to say, it was a pleasant surprise.
So just last week I asked now asked myself: Do I really want to leave Boulder? The answer was simply: No. I do have friends in Denver and friends in Boulder, but for now I have decided to give myself some more time in this town to discover it more. The option will always be there to move to Denver, but will my co-worker Bonnie or any other friends I have made? So as of January 1st, 2010, I will be leaving my current townhome in East Boulder to move to downtown Boulder and will be keeping my job as manager of good old Powell's Sweet Shoppe!
I have had my ups and downs in Colorado that's for sure. But over the past month, life has been changing. There are more positive, happy days, rather than homesick, lonely ones. I am in love with the Rocky Mountains. That's a given-who wouldnt be? I have a wonderful group of runners in Denver that I wish I could see and run with more often, but know that will come with time. I have a great church group, Merge, that is filled with young adults, that have lifted me up, as well as challenged me. I have a wonderful Michigan, skiing and running comrade, Jaime, who is by far my best friend here. I have a great boss, co-workers, and flexible job that may not be the most fulfilling one, but is a positive place with good times had by all.
It has been one heck of a journey, but when you reach that happy place, it is one of the best feelings in the world. I want to thank all of those that have helped me thus far along the way; presently in Colorado or not. Finally, I feel like Im almost home.
There is a song from The Fray that I listen to quite often that pretty much sums up my discovery of happiness here in Colorado:
"Happiness is like the old man told me
Look for it, but you'll never find it all
But let it go, live your life and leave it
Then one day, wake up and she'll be home
Home, home, home..."
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Good Life
I have never been one to let people/friends go easily.
I received an email the other day with the new One Republic song "Good Life" from my friend, Jenn. She simply wrote: "This song reminds me of you. Miss you." After listening to the song, I was amazed at how much the song really did remind me of myself-all the places Ive been and all the people I have met. Through my travels from high school to college to post college, I have met some incredible people and made some amazing friends.
Though I have met some amazing people, one of the hardest things throughout my nomadic life, has been keeping in contact with those friends that I hold closest to my heart. You see, I have found, that once distance and time zones separate people, it is hard to remain as close as you once were. Every time I have moved on, I have made as much effort as possible, through phone calls and emails, to not let go of those that mean so much to me. But then again, life goes on, people change, lives change, and people drift apart. As sad as that has been for me, I have begun to accept that this is the way life is and that I just need to move on and continue the making new friends process. I have begun to look at the friend process as one in which I learn something new from each person that I meet, rather than a sad parting and drifting. Looking at things with this perspective has really helped me get through the times in which I wish so and so was still there with me.
Moving to Colorado has really been the true test of my character and social skills. Coming out here completely alone, I really struggled at first to find those that I connected with. But with some patience and persistence, I have found a core group of people that I relate to and feel as though I can build strong friendships with. It is great because in the past, I feel as though I have gravitated to runners and running friends as the ones that I built my social network with. But out here, I have friends ranging from CU students to ski instructors to accounting executives. And as I connect with this variety of people, I am able to expand my horizons and perspectives on life.
Everytime I have moved, I have clung to those friends I had from my previous place of residence (richmond, charlotte, etc). They were the familiar, the ones who knew me best. But as I begin to establish myself out here, the effort is becoming a little bit less on my end to keep in touch with the previous and a little more on the end of those that truly want to keep in touch. For I believe that friendship shouldnt be forced, but rather, desired. I still love all of those that do not keep in touch, for I have created memories with them, that I will never forget. And for those that still do remain in contact, it means so much to me.
But ultimately, no matter where we go, we will always have the memories, the conversations, and the relationships, and for that I know, "its a good, good life".
"To my friends in Charlotte, I say hello
My friends in Chambersburg they don't know
Where I've been for the past few years or so
VA to Charlotte to Col-or-ado.
Oh, this has gotta be the good life
This has gotta be the good life
This could really be a good life, good life
Say oh, got this feeling that you can't fight
Like this city is on fire tonight
This could really be a good life
A good, good life."
I received an email the other day with the new One Republic song "Good Life" from my friend, Jenn. She simply wrote: "This song reminds me of you. Miss you." After listening to the song, I was amazed at how much the song really did remind me of myself-all the places Ive been and all the people I have met. Through my travels from high school to college to post college, I have met some incredible people and made some amazing friends.
Though I have met some amazing people, one of the hardest things throughout my nomadic life, has been keeping in contact with those friends that I hold closest to my heart. You see, I have found, that once distance and time zones separate people, it is hard to remain as close as you once were. Every time I have moved on, I have made as much effort as possible, through phone calls and emails, to not let go of those that mean so much to me. But then again, life goes on, people change, lives change, and people drift apart. As sad as that has been for me, I have begun to accept that this is the way life is and that I just need to move on and continue the making new friends process. I have begun to look at the friend process as one in which I learn something new from each person that I meet, rather than a sad parting and drifting. Looking at things with this perspective has really helped me get through the times in which I wish so and so was still there with me.
Moving to Colorado has really been the true test of my character and social skills. Coming out here completely alone, I really struggled at first to find those that I connected with. But with some patience and persistence, I have found a core group of people that I relate to and feel as though I can build strong friendships with. It is great because in the past, I feel as though I have gravitated to runners and running friends as the ones that I built my social network with. But out here, I have friends ranging from CU students to ski instructors to accounting executives. And as I connect with this variety of people, I am able to expand my horizons and perspectives on life.
Everytime I have moved, I have clung to those friends I had from my previous place of residence (richmond, charlotte, etc). They were the familiar, the ones who knew me best. But as I begin to establish myself out here, the effort is becoming a little bit less on my end to keep in touch with the previous and a little more on the end of those that truly want to keep in touch. For I believe that friendship shouldnt be forced, but rather, desired. I still love all of those that do not keep in touch, for I have created memories with them, that I will never forget. And for those that still do remain in contact, it means so much to me.
But ultimately, no matter where we go, we will always have the memories, the conversations, and the relationships, and for that I know, "its a good, good life".
"To my friends in Charlotte, I say hello
My friends in Chambersburg they don't know
Where I've been for the past few years or so
VA to Charlotte to Col-or-ado.
Oh, this has gotta be the good life
This has gotta be the good life
This could really be a good life, good life
Say oh, got this feeling that you can't fight
Like this city is on fire tonight
This could really be a good life
A good, good life."
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Top List of Things to Accomplish in Colorado
I was discussing with my friend, Heather, today on a run how some people, when I tell them my goals or what I have done since graduation, probably think I am going through some quarter life crisis. They question why I would live below the poverty line working at Smoothie Shops or Candy Stores when I have college degree, or why I have moved around so much since high school.
I would be lying if I said that it wasn't frustrating working hourly paying jobs all of the time and scraping to get by, but honestly, would I want it any other way at this point in my life? I look at my friends that have "real jobs" and realize that I have the rest of my life to perform a real job. How much longer do I have the opportunity to sell smoothies or advise people on what kind of candy they should buy! Since college, I have made it a goal for myself to enjoy each day as it comes and to not worry so much about the future. I try not to worry about money and somehow always get by. I like to say I live by the motto: "Money isn't everything" or "Wealth is of the heart and mind, not of the pocket." I have always been a goal oriented person, and so yes, I do have a goal of eventually going back to graduate school, but for now, why not enjoy the ride?
Of course, since I am in this beautiful state of Colorado, I feel as though I need to make a list of things to accomplish in the next year here (not in order of importance).
#1) Skydiving-Met a friend, Kyle, at Run Group, who used to instruct up in Longmont, CO. Definitely want to experience the rush!
#2) Tattoo-This has been something I have wanted for at least two years. Want to get a tree of life to symbolize growth, life, strength, etc. on my wrist.
#3) Skiing-Considering I bought the Rocky Mountain Super Season Pass and ski gear this one is a must. It has already been accomplished, but I have made it a goal of my own to go skiing at least once a week so that I get better.
#4) Av's Game-This one sounds lame, but I havent been to a pro hockey game in what seems like forever. A tragedy really.
#5) Run a marathon-This does not have to occur in Colorado, but has been my ultimate goal since college. It needs to happen somewhere.
#6) Relay-Want to get a group of local runners together to do a relay. Ever since River 2 Sea in college where Jeff got lost, I want to do one again. haha. Great Lakes Relay 2010 for all my Michiganer friends?
#7) Roadtrip-This goal need to be accomplished multiple times for I want to go to Wyoming, Utah, New Mexico.
#8) Hot Springs-Definitely want to try these out. Have heard so much about them!
#9) Off-roading-Gotta be some people that want to join me on this one.
#10) Camping in RMNP-Have been camping at pay as you go campsites in CO but I definitely want to true experience with a backpacking adventure.
#11) Concert at Red Rocks-Everyone raves about Red Rocks being an amazing venue. Considering that I am in love with music this one is a must.
#12) Adding to the list of 14ers-Gotta at least climb Longs and a few more in the next year.
#13) Tubing-Went tubing when I first got to CO in Lyons, CO but need to get a group to go with some beers.
#14) Brew Tours- Have done New Belgium but have many more to do (Coors, Avery, def want to do the Fort Collins bike brewery tour). I mean, come on, Colorado has the most microbreweries per square mile than any other state in the US!
#15) Volunteer at Animal Shelter or homeless shelter in Denver-Service work is a HUGE goal for me in the next year. For me, giving truly is far better than receiving.
#16) Snowshoeing-Definitely at the top of my Xmas list this year. :0 )
#17) XCountry Skiing
#18) Get a job at a running store-Sounds lame, but it has always been a dream of mine to work at a running store even for just a short period of time.
#19) Horseback riding-Have gone a few times back east, but would love to try it out in Colorado! Ok, now I just need to meet some friends with horses.
#20) Visit at least three other Colorado cities/towns- Colorado Springs, Vail, Breckenridge, Telluride, Salida.
#21) Sand Dunes!! Needs no explanation-Gotta get to that place!
#22) Start an inner city kids running group in Denver. This is a long term goal for me, but if I set my mind to it, I think it can be done!
Definitely will keep updating this list and documenting those that I have accomplished.
Remember: You only live once!
I would be lying if I said that it wasn't frustrating working hourly paying jobs all of the time and scraping to get by, but honestly, would I want it any other way at this point in my life? I look at my friends that have "real jobs" and realize that I have the rest of my life to perform a real job. How much longer do I have the opportunity to sell smoothies or advise people on what kind of candy they should buy! Since college, I have made it a goal for myself to enjoy each day as it comes and to not worry so much about the future. I try not to worry about money and somehow always get by. I like to say I live by the motto: "Money isn't everything" or "Wealth is of the heart and mind, not of the pocket." I have always been a goal oriented person, and so yes, I do have a goal of eventually going back to graduate school, but for now, why not enjoy the ride?
Of course, since I am in this beautiful state of Colorado, I feel as though I need to make a list of things to accomplish in the next year here (not in order of importance).
#1) Skydiving-Met a friend, Kyle, at Run Group, who used to instruct up in Longmont, CO. Definitely want to experience the rush!
#2) Tattoo-This has been something I have wanted for at least two years. Want to get a tree of life to symbolize growth, life, strength, etc. on my wrist.
#3) Skiing-Considering I bought the Rocky Mountain Super Season Pass and ski gear this one is a must. It has already been accomplished, but I have made it a goal of my own to go skiing at least once a week so that I get better.
#4) Av's Game-This one sounds lame, but I havent been to a pro hockey game in what seems like forever. A tragedy really.
#5) Run a marathon-This does not have to occur in Colorado, but has been my ultimate goal since college. It needs to happen somewhere.
#6) Relay-Want to get a group of local runners together to do a relay. Ever since River 2 Sea in college where Jeff got lost, I want to do one again. haha. Great Lakes Relay 2010 for all my Michiganer friends?
#7) Roadtrip-This goal need to be accomplished multiple times for I want to go to Wyoming, Utah, New Mexico.
#8) Hot Springs-Definitely want to try these out. Have heard so much about them!
#9) Off-roading-Gotta be some people that want to join me on this one.
#10) Camping in RMNP-Have been camping at pay as you go campsites in CO but I definitely want to true experience with a backpacking adventure.
#11) Concert at Red Rocks-Everyone raves about Red Rocks being an amazing venue. Considering that I am in love with music this one is a must.
#12) Adding to the list of 14ers-Gotta at least climb Longs and a few more in the next year.
#13) Tubing-Went tubing when I first got to CO in Lyons, CO but need to get a group to go with some beers.
#14) Brew Tours- Have done New Belgium but have many more to do (Coors, Avery, def want to do the Fort Collins bike brewery tour). I mean, come on, Colorado has the most microbreweries per square mile than any other state in the US!
#15) Volunteer at Animal Shelter or homeless shelter in Denver-Service work is a HUGE goal for me in the next year. For me, giving truly is far better than receiving.
#16) Snowshoeing-Definitely at the top of my Xmas list this year. :0 )
#17) XCountry Skiing
#18) Get a job at a running store-Sounds lame, but it has always been a dream of mine to work at a running store even for just a short period of time.
#19) Horseback riding-Have gone a few times back east, but would love to try it out in Colorado! Ok, now I just need to meet some friends with horses.
#20) Visit at least three other Colorado cities/towns- Colorado Springs, Vail, Breckenridge, Telluride, Salida.
#21) Sand Dunes!! Needs no explanation-Gotta get to that place!
#22) Start an inner city kids running group in Denver. This is a long term goal for me, but if I set my mind to it, I think it can be done!
Definitely will keep updating this list and documenting those that I have accomplished.
Remember: You only live once!
Saturday, November 7, 2009
New beginnings.
I have often received the questions: "Where are you from? Where are you going?"
With my roots in Pennsylvania, going to college in Richmond, VA, moving to Charlotte, NC for a year, and now ending up in Boulder, CO-I hesitate answering this question with a simple answer of an East Coaster. I am an East Coaster for sure, but does that really encompass who I am or who I have become?
As a youngin' growing up in Amish country Pennsylvania, I was a shy, but active and competitive person. Always wanting to be on the go and adventuring around, I would often get bored living in Chambersburg. When I graduated from high school, I vowed to never live there again-not because it was a horrible place, but it just wasn't exciting enough for me.
Going to college in a different state, void of familiarity, I was thrown out of my comfort zone, and forced to gain a new sense of outgoingness. Although my personality was in a state of change, I was set on fulfilling a lifelong dream of becoming a veterinarian. But as graduation drew near in May 2008, even my career goals had changed.
As I moved on to Charlotte last year, suddenly I was alone and on my own. I no longer had that college atmosphere, nor did I have the cross country and track teams to rely on for support. I was testing the waters of the life of a college cross country and track coach. Determined to meet people, I joined the Trysports racing team, where I quickly met Chris, Glenn, Caitlin, and Megan. I put forth twice as much effort as college, to go out of my way to form strong bonds with those in Charlotte, and it was well worth it. From the road trips and dinner with my boys, to the runs and the beach trips with the Charlotte Running Club members, I was content and happy: or was I?
I decided early to mid-spring that I wanted pick up my life again and fulfill a dream of moving to Colorado. What did I have to lose? I had figured out that the college coaching lifestyle just wasnt for me. I have always been a risk taker and one to try new things, so Colorado was not anything out of the ordinary. But as moving day from Charlotte grew near, I dreaded my decision more and more. I was content and felt like I had a family that I was leaving behind. Not until months later would I see just how much of a family I really had.
As Black Beauty (my car) reached the Colorado state border in early August, I was so excited to get my new life started all over again. This time, in Boulder. I quickly figured out that Boulder is not what I thought it would be. Filled with college students, and rich families, I felt like I was in the middle of a disaster of a decision. My first two months here, I hated it. I loved the outdoors and gained a new appreciation for being able to think on my own. I would sit, read, and stare at the mountains in all their beauty. But I was missing something. Something that has always been important to me: Friends. I tried everything from visiting five different running group to putting myself into different social settings. The frustration and homesickness began to set in. Why did I move here, why did I leave all that was familiar to me behind? I began to rely on friends back East for support, which helped, but in hindsight, what could they do? After the Charlotte Running Club, (Jay and Rebecca), raised $300 (in a beer mile!) to buy me a plane ticket to come back "home" to Charlotte, I was dead set on moving back. I couldnt believe the love and support the Charlotte Running Community had shown for me.
Not until I made the decision to move back to the South, did I realize what I was doing. Why would I want to run away from my dream state? I began to travel to Denver to meet up with running friends and slowly began to meet people down there. I have always considered myself a city girl even though I grew up in the country, so Denver almost began to feel more like home. So once again, I was in a state of indecisiveness and decided once and for all that I could accomplish what I want to accomplish here in the great state of Colorado, and I would enjoy it more by moving to Denver.
So in January 2010, I plan to pack it all up again and move just a short 40 minutes away to the Mile High City. In the past few weeks, I have gained a new appreciation for friends like Ashley, Jaime, and Heather. I wouldn't have met ski instructor Andy, who has inspired me to take chances and go break out of the box of life. I wouldn't have been moved up to a manager at the candy store, and I wouldnt have gone skiing for the first time in 10 years or bought all new ski new gear and season ski pass.
Which brings about a favorite quote of mine from the movie"Garden State":
"You know that point in your life when you realize that the house you grew up in isn’t really your home anymore…all of the sudden even though you have some place to put your shit, that idea of home is gone…or maybe it's like this rite of passage…you will never have that feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, for your kids, for the family you start. It’s like a cycle or something. Maybe that’s all family really is: a group of people that miss the same imaginary place."
Throughout the past 6 years of my life, I have been all over the place, wandering per se, but is that really a bad thing? I have formed "families" in all of the places I have lived and have really figured out who I am and what I want. I have a passion for the underprivileged and was talking with a friend, Lauren, the other day about possibly becoming a health promotions leader. I want to go back to school for my Masters degree and am confident that eventually I will get there. But I am in no hurry.
I was having a conversation with Andy the other day about how I feel like society places all of these ideals on how people should act or where they should be when they reach a certain age. I have had people in the past tell me, "Oh, you dont understand, you are too young" or "Once you are in your mid-20s you should act this way or get married at this age". I refuse and listen to this. Why can't we be our own person and live our lives to the fullest? I, for one, would rather take my time enjoying my life and figuring out what I want in it, rather than rushing it to fulfill societal norms.
So I am ready for these new beginnings in the great state of Colorado. I have the beginnings of a new "family" of friends, and a new city to call "home". I have fallen in love with the Rockies and am sure their beauty will never tire.
For now, I embrace the new and endlessly changing horizon called: Life.
With my roots in Pennsylvania, going to college in Richmond, VA, moving to Charlotte, NC for a year, and now ending up in Boulder, CO-I hesitate answering this question with a simple answer of an East Coaster. I am an East Coaster for sure, but does that really encompass who I am or who I have become?
As a youngin' growing up in Amish country Pennsylvania, I was a shy, but active and competitive person. Always wanting to be on the go and adventuring around, I would often get bored living in Chambersburg. When I graduated from high school, I vowed to never live there again-not because it was a horrible place, but it just wasn't exciting enough for me.
Going to college in a different state, void of familiarity, I was thrown out of my comfort zone, and forced to gain a new sense of outgoingness. Although my personality was in a state of change, I was set on fulfilling a lifelong dream of becoming a veterinarian. But as graduation drew near in May 2008, even my career goals had changed.
As I moved on to Charlotte last year, suddenly I was alone and on my own. I no longer had that college atmosphere, nor did I have the cross country and track teams to rely on for support. I was testing the waters of the life of a college cross country and track coach. Determined to meet people, I joined the Trysports racing team, where I quickly met Chris, Glenn, Caitlin, and Megan. I put forth twice as much effort as college, to go out of my way to form strong bonds with those in Charlotte, and it was well worth it. From the road trips and dinner with my boys, to the runs and the beach trips with the Charlotte Running Club members, I was content and happy: or was I?
I decided early to mid-spring that I wanted pick up my life again and fulfill a dream of moving to Colorado. What did I have to lose? I had figured out that the college coaching lifestyle just wasnt for me. I have always been a risk taker and one to try new things, so Colorado was not anything out of the ordinary. But as moving day from Charlotte grew near, I dreaded my decision more and more. I was content and felt like I had a family that I was leaving behind. Not until months later would I see just how much of a family I really had.
As Black Beauty (my car) reached the Colorado state border in early August, I was so excited to get my new life started all over again. This time, in Boulder. I quickly figured out that Boulder is not what I thought it would be. Filled with college students, and rich families, I felt like I was in the middle of a disaster of a decision. My first two months here, I hated it. I loved the outdoors and gained a new appreciation for being able to think on my own. I would sit, read, and stare at the mountains in all their beauty. But I was missing something. Something that has always been important to me: Friends. I tried everything from visiting five different running group to putting myself into different social settings. The frustration and homesickness began to set in. Why did I move here, why did I leave all that was familiar to me behind? I began to rely on friends back East for support, which helped, but in hindsight, what could they do? After the Charlotte Running Club, (Jay and Rebecca), raised $300 (in a beer mile!) to buy me a plane ticket to come back "home" to Charlotte, I was dead set on moving back. I couldnt believe the love and support the Charlotte Running Community had shown for me.
Not until I made the decision to move back to the South, did I realize what I was doing. Why would I want to run away from my dream state? I began to travel to Denver to meet up with running friends and slowly began to meet people down there. I have always considered myself a city girl even though I grew up in the country, so Denver almost began to feel more like home. So once again, I was in a state of indecisiveness and decided once and for all that I could accomplish what I want to accomplish here in the great state of Colorado, and I would enjoy it more by moving to Denver.
So in January 2010, I plan to pack it all up again and move just a short 40 minutes away to the Mile High City. In the past few weeks, I have gained a new appreciation for friends like Ashley, Jaime, and Heather. I wouldn't have met ski instructor Andy, who has inspired me to take chances and go break out of the box of life. I wouldn't have been moved up to a manager at the candy store, and I wouldnt have gone skiing for the first time in 10 years or bought all new ski new gear and season ski pass.
Which brings about a favorite quote of mine from the movie"Garden State":
"You know that point in your life when you realize that the house you grew up in isn’t really your home anymore…all of the sudden even though you have some place to put your shit, that idea of home is gone…or maybe it's like this rite of passage…you will never have that feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, for your kids, for the family you start. It’s like a cycle or something. Maybe that’s all family really is: a group of people that miss the same imaginary place."
Throughout the past 6 years of my life, I have been all over the place, wandering per se, but is that really a bad thing? I have formed "families" in all of the places I have lived and have really figured out who I am and what I want. I have a passion for the underprivileged and was talking with a friend, Lauren, the other day about possibly becoming a health promotions leader. I want to go back to school for my Masters degree and am confident that eventually I will get there. But I am in no hurry.
I was having a conversation with Andy the other day about how I feel like society places all of these ideals on how people should act or where they should be when they reach a certain age. I have had people in the past tell me, "Oh, you dont understand, you are too young" or "Once you are in your mid-20s you should act this way or get married at this age". I refuse and listen to this. Why can't we be our own person and live our lives to the fullest? I, for one, would rather take my time enjoying my life and figuring out what I want in it, rather than rushing it to fulfill societal norms.
So I am ready for these new beginnings in the great state of Colorado. I have the beginnings of a new "family" of friends, and a new city to call "home". I have fallen in love with the Rockies and am sure their beauty will never tire.
For now, I embrace the new and endlessly changing horizon called: Life.
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